BG News Food Blog

The love I have for food is so strong that I'm sure if food were one of the three options on Mystery Date, we'd end up together every time. There is just something so special about making that perfect dish for a perfect occasion, something so spiritual, so artistic, so sexy. There's only one other subject I'd ever use those same three words to describe -- 1990s basketball players. 

It is only fitting that today I marry the two loves of my life, my love of food and my love of sweaty, awesome haircut-wearing, short-short sporting middle-aged NBA superstars from the '90s. In light of this union, I've put together a menu that pays homage to my favorites from the David Stern Club.  

SHORT-SHORT STACK 
Perhaps some of the most memorable moments of the '90s (save the Spice Girls many No. 1 hits) had to have been Jazz superstar John Stockton's short shorts. Not only did this man play with style in the teal and purple, but also he did it with plenty of thigh to go with. In honor of Stockton's stark-white upper leg, chow down on some pancakes. Make that one pancake. That would be the shortest short-stack possible, right? 

DIKEMBE MUTOMBO'S CHICKEN FINGER WAG 
If it weren't for Dennis Rodman, this man would have been the best defensive player of the decade. But one thing Mutombo did have over Rodman? His awesome taunting finger wag. The NBA even tried to shut down the "unsportsmanlike" gesture. But did Mutombo falter? Nope. He wagged his finger at the crowd instead. To celebrate this classy move, munch on crispy, hot chicken fingers. The more ranch, the better. And if the naysayers cry that dipping in ranch is bad for you, take a page out of Mutombo's book and switch to honey barbecue. 

THE DUNKING DONUT DUTCHMAN
Rik Smits didn't only rock the rim on my favorite NBA team of all time, he rocked the coolest, most confusing nickname in the league. Move over Mailman--the Dunking Dutchman is driving the lane. There is little that can be suggested food-wise that would meet the magnitude that is this nickname, so my humble idea is to swing on through Timmy-Ho's and grab a 12 pack of TimBits. A moment of silence would be appropriate while these donuts are enjoyed. 

MULLINS MUFFINS 
You know how sometimes when you overfill cupcake or muffin tins you end up with really oddly shaped results? I can't look at the misshapen head of my too-generous muffins without thinking about another one of my beloved Indiana Pacers. Chris Mullins' flattop haircut never could hide the odd shape of his head. Enjoy warm muffins (overfilled of course to achieve the correct effect) today in memory of Chris Mullins. For fun, go ahead and frost the muffins with a buzz cut. 

GREG OYSTER-TAG SOUP 
Greg Ostertag was another great white wonder that played supporting cast to Karl Malone in the '90s. This man was so pale, he made teammate Jeff Hornacek look like he just got back from a trip to Florida. Warm up this chilly fall day with a steamy bowl of oyster soup or clam chowder. The computer paper color of your food will give you fond memories of the big Double Zero.